10 Signs your Friendship has been Canceled.

The definition of many things has changed in the millennial generation. Phone calls are a thing of the past, food is a few clicks away, and finding love is as simple as downloading the latest app. What hasn’t changed? Friendships. While people think romantic relationships are the hardest to leave… Friendships can be just as complicated. It’s one of the few relations you form organically and genuinely. While some bonds are strong enough to go through the growing pains of becoming, and sometimes being an adult; others will prove to be less resilient. Here are some signs that may indicate your friendship has run its course.

1. You’re out of the loop.

This typically isn’t something you will notice offhand. However, over a course of time, you will notice that you know very little about what’s going on in your friend’s life. Social media seems to be the way you find out anything these days.

2. Empty hang-out dates.

What once would be a day or night you looked forward to, is instead, met with a unexpected excuse of why they can not make it. Seeing each other used to be done with little or short notice (“What are doing? Let’s grab Lunch!”)  to (“Awww I work that day, sorry”).

3. You don’t fit in with their friends.

We all know, as you get older and becoming the person you want to be, things change. A lot. If you find that you no longer fit into your buddy’s settings anymore, and you tend to feel awkward around the new friends they have acquired. It might be a clear indication your friendship is soon to be discontinued.

4. You have different views.

Having different views or values in a lot of relationships tends to strengthen the bond between people. While that might be true, there is such a thing of being too different. If you find yourself holding in your opinions more than usual, in fear of upsetting the other party… then maybe its time to re-evaluate your compatibility.

5. Cheerleading is dead.

You showed up to that launch party. You congratulated them on that promotion. When it comes to you and your accomplishments and dreams, the support is well… dead. Support and routing your friend on to success is a crucial part of any friendship. If you find yourself constantly the only one cheering, then maybe its time to call it quits.

6. They don’t reach out.

It has been weeks maybe months since you have heard from your beloved friend. You seem to be the one reaching out all of the time.When you do get a response, it tends to turn into a Q & A session rather than an engaging conversation. They seem less than enthused to hear from you.

7. You are into different things.

They like to party and the latest gossip. You like great cups of coffee and deep conversation. There was something that bought you two together at one point, just what the hell was it? Sometimes, when false, misfitting connections are born, this becomes an apparent issue later in the friendship. 

8. No future.

As you move up in the world, You begin to envision all the people you know will be there. Or so you thought. You might wish this wasn’t the case. Often, this isn’t done intentionally. With all the possible disconnects that you and your friend might be sharing this just start to happen naturally.

9. You’re unsure if you are friends.

Much like a relationship, there can be a million indications, and still, you will be unclear where you stand. If you feel like you need to question whether or not that your friendship is still intact, then maybe your friendship is over.

10. It simply just doesn’t feel right.

With all your efforts (vice versa), it just feels forced. Cornering someone into being your friend isn’t fair for you or them and creates awkward situations. If the pieces don’t fit… don’t make them.

It took me a long time to identify when someone didn’t want to be bothered. What I also learned is, that doesn’t make them bad people. It is easier to avoid people rather than tell them the truth. Sometimes, people just grow in different directions. The healthier step is to just let the friendship go before deeper, more hurtful feelings are created. If this is something that you are experiencing, try not to view it as rejection. Instead, try to take happy memories with you. In the art of letting go, it doesn’t always have to end with hostility. It is a very unique step to grow. With that being said, wish them well. For you, these moments will only make you stronger, wiser and a better version of you than before.

3 Simple Ways To Cope With The Quarantine of 2020

While New York, various parts of the country and the world, have been sentenced to house arrest, it has also offered the opportunity to appreciate the little things we often take for granted.  It has offered us to reflect and pay it forward. Whether your new office attire is pajamas or you have become a toilet paper bounty hunter, here are simple ways to help cope with the quarantine of 2020.

1. Find a routine.

This is easier said than done but try to stick to a regimen. Sticking to a regimen helps create discipline and eventual consistency. You don’t need to dive headfirst into the new routine either. It can be as simple as looking at the sunrise or stretch when you get out of bed. If you pray or meditate, take this time to find how it can be done consistently.

“Keep everyone on the same page”

If you are someone who has children despite there being no school, for a number of children try to still keep them on a set schedule of waking, bathing, eating, and so on. I first hand made the mistake of letting my little one sleep in because we no longer had to be up at 6 am. Something as little as letting him stay up one hour later, caused him to sleep until 10 am. No biggie right? WRONG. The next day, when it was time for his normal sleep schedule it became the Hunger Games of bedtime. While there is no problem with changing the schedule, just make sure it’s a consistent one that works for you. Keep everyone on the same page so you won’t become overwhelmed. Or need an unusual amount of wine.

2. Start that thing.

Maybe you wanted to learn a new language. Write, reorganize that closet you haven’t touched. The possibilities are endless. With life constantly on the go, and being booked and busy is the life trend for most millennials, we oftentimes, put off the very projects or goals that we desire.

“Now is a better time than any”

There is nothing wrong with binge-watching your favorite shows, especially when you haven’t watched them in a while. However, now is a better time than any to start a meaningful project. As a result of the quarantine, you have more time to perfect your craft or discover a whole new hobby altogether. Also, this is the perfect setup to see just how passionate you are about the things you want. Trial and error without the feeling you lost out on one of the most valuable commodities on earth. Time.

3. Unplug.

There are a ton of ways to unplug from the world. For some its social media, or perhaps an opportunity to use social distancing to distance yourself from some unwanted relationships. There isn’t a time limit for this, just the one that works best for you. As mentioned earlier having a routine and a moment to re-center oneself is vital. Being isolated alone or being confined with people constantly, can both have a negative impact mentally.

“Disconnect from all things negative”

I personally recommend at least 30 minutes to disconnect from all things negative. While for me living with a child is not negative but at times it is challenging. Children have absolutely no idea what personal space means. So for those who live with other people and you can’t exactly control the flow of the home. Try to watch everyone’s sleeping or waking patterns and find peaceful times around that. Take a long bath or shower. The goal is to set a moment of mental calm.

There’s no doubt that Covid-19 will have lasting effects on everyone for years to come. While you have the time, try to see what you want those lasting effects to be. Re-invent what it means to have humility. Re-learn the mantra of “don’t sweat the small stuff”. Re-imagine life as you know it. Learn to appreciate all good things big or small. Most importantly. Stay home. Stay safe. Stay alive.

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