10 Signs your Friendship has been Canceled.

The definition of many things has changed in the millennial generation. Phone calls are a thing of the past, food is a few clicks away, and finding love is as simple as downloading the latest app. What hasn’t changed? Friendships. While people think romantic relationships are the hardest to leave… Friendships can be just as complicated. It’s one of the few relations you form organically and genuinely. While some bonds are strong enough to go through the growing pains of becoming, and sometimes being an adult; others will prove to be less resilient. Here are some signs that may indicate your friendship has run its course.

1. You’re out of the loop.

This typically isn’t something you will notice offhand. However, over a course of time, you will notice that you know very little about what’s going on in your friend’s life. Social media seems to be the way you find out anything these days.

2. Empty hang-out dates.

What once would be a day or night you looked forward to, is instead, met with a unexpected excuse of why they can not make it. Seeing each other used to be done with little or short notice (“What are doing? Let’s grab Lunch!”)  to (“Awww I work that day, sorry”).

3. You don’t fit in with their friends.

We all know, as you get older and becoming the person you want to be, things change. A lot. If you find that you no longer fit into your buddy’s settings anymore, and you tend to feel awkward around the new friends they have acquired. It might be a clear indication your friendship is soon to be discontinued.

4. You have different views.

Having different views or values in a lot of relationships tends to strengthen the bond between people. While that might be true, there is such a thing of being too different. If you find yourself holding in your opinions more than usual, in fear of upsetting the other party… then maybe its time to re-evaluate your compatibility.

5. Cheerleading is dead.

You showed up to that launch party. You congratulated them on that promotion. When it comes to you and your accomplishments and dreams, the support is well… dead. Support and routing your friend on to success is a crucial part of any friendship. If you find yourself constantly the only one cheering, then maybe its time to call it quits.

6. They don’t reach out.

It has been weeks maybe months since you have heard from your beloved friend. You seem to be the one reaching out all of the time.When you do get a response, it tends to turn into a Q & A session rather than an engaging conversation. They seem less than enthused to hear from you.

7. You are into different things.

They like to party and the latest gossip. You like great cups of coffee and deep conversation. There was something that bought you two together at one point, just what the hell was it? Sometimes, when false, misfitting connections are born, this becomes an apparent issue later in the friendship. 

8. No future.

As you move up in the world, You begin to envision all the people you know will be there. Or so you thought. You might wish this wasn’t the case. Often, this isn’t done intentionally. With all the possible disconnects that you and your friend might be sharing this just start to happen naturally.

9. You’re unsure if you are friends.

Much like a relationship, there can be a million indications, and still, you will be unclear where you stand. If you feel like you need to question whether or not that your friendship is still intact, then maybe your friendship is over.

10. It simply just doesn’t feel right.

With all your efforts (vice versa), it just feels forced. Cornering someone into being your friend isn’t fair for you or them and creates awkward situations. If the pieces don’t fit… don’t make them.

It took me a long time to identify when someone didn’t want to be bothered. What I also learned is, that doesn’t make them bad people. It is easier to avoid people rather than tell them the truth. Sometimes, people just grow in different directions. The healthier step is to just let the friendship go before deeper, more hurtful feelings are created. If this is something that you are experiencing, try not to view it as rejection. Instead, try to take happy memories with you. In the art of letting go, it doesn’t always have to end with hostility. It is a very unique step to grow. With that being said, wish them well. For you, these moments will only make you stronger, wiser and a better version of you than before.

5 Tips Of Adulting… For The Late Bloomer.

Some of you at the age of 30 are already settled into that career you dreamed of. work in the field you went to school for. Some of you have tied the knot and bought that dream house. You probably started a family. Good for you. Kudos. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. However, ladies and gents I was not that individual. I mean, I had a hard time deciding if my toddler and I was going to have tacos or cereal for dinner. I am a busy mom of one, with a gazillion things on my plate. When it comes to adulthood some days I feel like I got this! Other days I peek under the bed to make sure I’m not being punk’d.

The last few years have definitely been whipping me into shape. Especially after the birth of my son. I feel like everything from that point on was a true test of maturity and growth. More importantly a test of faith. Here are five major tips that has certainly been a clutch in my life thus far:

Planning.

While this does sound a little cliche, planning is one of the biggest tools. For me, I broke it down in short term goals, nothing more than two goals per week. I made them short and sweet. By doing it this way, it made them less daunting, but it also gave me a better perspective of the direction for which I wanted to go.

Budgeting.

Do not let anyone and/or anything come between you and the “bag”! So we all been there, that begging boyfriend/girlfriend,family member or friend. Sometimes, they aren’t in need they are just opportunists. How does that affect your budget? Put it this way if you bought your friend a $5 dollar cup of coffee A day you have literally have spent nearly $2,000 dollars in one year…Yikes. Now, I am not saying to become cheap or a crappy friend. What I am saying is begin to short change all unnecessary or impulsive spending.

Saving.

So, I never thought I would be remotely qualified to speak on such a subject… let alone write about it! There is no fancy step in this. For me, when I began my saving journey (yes I called it a journey) I started very small. I mean Tiny. Maybe $5-$20 dollars per paycheck. To my surprise, it adds up! Who knew? Beforehand, I had a terrible mindset, that if the money is there… It’s meant to be spent. This couldn’t be further from the truth. However, in the art of spending; you don’t realize until your account is on E. So, whenever I got paid I would put a portion away each time. My personal favorite number is 10. $10 dollars every week. While that number seems low… in one year that is still a 500 dollar save.

Cut Ties That Are Too Heavy.

Yes. As selfish as this may seem, cut off any relationships that may bring you down. While no two people are the same and everyone certainly have a struggle point; reevaluate your circle. What are their habits? How do they affect you? In other words, if you have people or elements that cloud your mental health or progression. For me, mental health is one of the most important things to me because I first hand know how fragile it is.

Take your time.

So I say this to you my fellow millennials, take your time. Please do not compare yourself to other individuals with different lifestyles. I use the word different because no life is better or more valuable than your own. You will get there, whatever your dreams… you will reach them. You have to be truthful of who you are and what you stand for. Life will throw many things your way… With more to come. Always and I mean always be honest with yourself and what you are feeling. Truly deal with those feelings. This will allow you to focus on and navigate toward your goals with fresh eyes. Trust the process.

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